잘 먹겠습니다아~!

내 작업은 그야 말로 블로깅이다.
누가 봐도 그만. 안 봐도 그만.
할 말만 쏟아내는 데 급급할 뿐. 왜 이리 여유가 없지?
취향이라....
성격이라....

밋밋한 것도 취향이라면 취향이고, 성격이라면 성격이지 않나?

학교를 다니는 건 분명 감사한 일이고 그나마 재밌는 일이기는 하지만,
조금만 더 하다가는 정말로 우울증이 바닥을 칠 거 같다.
뭐, 바닥을 치고 나면 그 부터는 올라가는 길 밖에 없긴 하겠지만
어느 사다리를 타고 올라갈지를 결정하는 게 쉬운 일이 아닌지라
계속 우물쩡 거리다가 바닥에만 머무르진 않을까...

하고 싶은 일은 많겠지만
할 수 있는 일은 그다지 많지 않다.
난 못 하는 게 별로 없는 대신
잘 하는 게 하나도 없다.

이것도 계속 하고, 저것도 계속 하고
발전시킬 수는 있겠지만 어느 길로 발전을 시키지?

그냥 살아야 한다는 건 정말 어려운 일이다.
그래도. 정말. 그냥 살아야 한다. 다른 길이 없으니까.

비록 엉망일지는 몰라도 내 개인적으로는 상당히 의미있는 작업.
결국 '페인팅'을 할 건지(혹은 드로잉), 아니면 컨셉츄얼 멀티미디어 작가로 나갈건지의 문제.
다들 '구분짓지 말라'고 하지만,
정의를 내리고 그걸 확정적으로 구분을 짓기위한 구분이 아닌
임의적으로, 내 자신을 위해, 정리를 하는 걸 돕기 위한 임시적인 구분이므로 괜찮다.

다음 학기는 우선 드로잉 많이 해 보기로 결정.
그리고, 맞다.
어쨋든 궁극적으로 구분은 전혀 의미가 없는 거니까,
이것이든 저것이든, 좀 더 말을 번지르르 하게 하기 위한 도구로서 내 선택을 제한하지 말고,
그냥 하고 싶은 것을 하자.

세련되고 잘 편집되서, 훌륭한 작업을 만드는 것도 좋겠지만
아직은 그런 걸 걱정할 때가 아니잖아.

이번 기회를 통해 좀 더 내 작업에 대해 생각해보고 정리해보고 앞으로 나아갈 방향을 찾아보게 되었다는 점에서 돈이니 뭐니 너무 아깝게 생각하지만은 말자.

Audience involvement is crucial to my work. The series of postcard-sized, double-sided paintings is like precious objects that a child collects and stores in his secret treasure box. I ask people to handle them, change the arrangement and make their own narrative. My works, with their vivid, bright colors and sharp edges, look like collaged stickers. The familiarity of my images is intended to enhance their accessibility. The texture and brush marks provide originality and uniqueness that mass produced images do not possess. My works are small and intimate. They invite audience to walk in and examine them intimately, almost to step into the world I have created. Audience’s attention, once drawn, starts to notice all the detailed oddities taking place on the paper, turning into intense curiosity. This is why I use acrylic gouache because the delicate characteristic of this medium allows me to create very fine details that make my world more alive.

Every piece has its own story. I draw from my literature background, as well as my experience of living back and forth in Korea and the United States, to pick my stories. Living through and studying radically different cultures, I realized that there is something universal in the human mind. I believe there is an ultimate limit to the boundaries of the human knowledge and understanding. In other words we are stuck in Plato’s cave. Unlike Plato, however, I do not believe that the ultimate truth can be learned but that the limitation is unbreakable. Hence, what we believe to be the ultimate truth is merely a reflection of our wishes—we believe something to be true because we want it to be true, nothing more. Once we realize we are each living in an illusory world we created, it is possible to obtain peace. This is why, even though placed in weird worlds and under strange circumstances, my characters are serene and comfortable. My characters have developed from contemporary commercial pop images but lots of my references are from India miniature paintings, Asian traditional Buddhist imageries, and pre-Renaissance egg tempera paintings. These references reflect my desire to bring the east and the west, contemporary and ancient, pop and spirituality together in one image. 

러프 드레프트. 정말 생각이 정리가 안돼네. 휴. 우선 잠시 저장.



           My idea is that the world is one entity. Everything is one being and there is nothing else but one. What I mean by everything is all the possible things we can think of, including the Earth, the Universe, time, space, even things that we do not have concept or name for, and more. If one exists all by itself, it has nothing outside of it causing absolutely no input or output. Thus existing as one means there is no way of knowing the existence of oneself. So one is like zero. World keeps changing but since it exists all by itself there is no good change or bad change. The idea of judgment is relative thus it can only exist when there are more than two things to compare. Because we, human beings, exist as a group, we can have our own judgment. But because we are a part of everything, it is impossible to see the world objectively just as a cell in a body really cannot analyze the whole body. What we categorize, analyze to think something as true is only our point of view but not an ultimate truth. There is no way to know what the ultimate truth is as a human. I don’t know what or how it is. It is what it is. It is how it is. So our own judgment is only meaningful and important to us. Which is fine and this is how we live.

People have wondered the answer to Life, the Universe and Everything throughout human history. This is where religion, ritual, the idea of afterlife and soul came from. Art also is one form that allows people to surpass human experience and limitation. Art is a form that tells people that there is more outside of mundane human senses. The answer is unknown but this is one of the basic, instinctive question human has to deal with. So since we are human beings, live as we have lived all the time. Just be aware that everything we feel; agony, pain, struggle and fighting comes from our own head. The actual truth could be far away from it. What we see is only a tusk out of the whole elephant. With this in mind, we could have fuller, more comfortable life.